Usually, though, I'm behind the times when it comes to gaming. I got my first Playstation long after all of my friends, and I didn't get an XBox
360 until 2007. So I'm unhip. Whatever. According to hipsters, it's cool to be unhip and ironic now, don't ya know? Probably not. You don't seem that cool. Wait. No, that would make you cool. You seem really cool. Hah. Got you.Now you're sad...like this hipster.
While you absorb the beatdown of awesome I just layeth upon ye, I'm going to tell you about my latest video game experience, what I like about it, and what really pisses me off.
I recently bought Dragon Age: Origins for the very low price of $14.98, brand new in the clearance section of Target. Being a broke ass college student, I could (read:should) have used that money to feed myself, but instead I fed my desire for rampaging RPG goodness. (I also bought Mass Effect 2 for the same price, but have yet to play it because I'm really weird and decided I had to play DA first and then go back and beat Mass Effect and then on to Mass Effect 2) Anyway, I had heard great reviews about Dragon Age, including some from a trusted friend, so I was pretty excited when I got started.
Character creation on the game is actually pretty good. About equivalent, if not better than, the character creation on Oblivion. I made a gruff Dwarven fighter, with all intentions of turning him into a Paladin-type character called a Champion. The first thing I noticed about the game is that the visuals are just okay. This is a very recent XBox 360 title, and I just feel like the backgrounds and environment could be...better. They were good, but not what I expected. Like your first time getting busy with that exotic race that you always fantacize about.
The biggest thing Dragon Age has going for it, in my opinion, is the voice acting. Top-notch and seamless. I feel like I'm really talking to a fucking Dwarf. That's not possible! Everyone knows Dwarves died out twenty years ago! In all seriousness, the voice actors really lend a personality in this game and add a whole new level of badass. As nerdy as it sounds, your primary companion, Alistair, absolutely comes alive, and I'm legitimately interested in his background, history and future developments with him.
The plot is pretty standard, but with some cool twists. Some demons invaded Heaven and made some Gods into demons and now their army, the Darkspawn, is running unchecked around Ferelden (where you start) and the rest of the world. Mages are regulated by the church and anyone who isn't in the church is hunted and killed. The Grey Wardens, a group of badass motherfuckers decided that this Darkspawn shit had to stop so they started killing the Darkspawn and of course they recruit you because you're the main character. So blah blah blah you gotta go on and kill Darkspawn and I haven't beaten the game yet so I can't tell you much beyond that.
"What?! You haven't beaten the game and you're writing a review? That's stupid." Hey, shut up, anonymous critic. I didn't say this was a review. It's more of a rant, actually, which I'll initiate now. My number one most hated feature of any RPG, and it's pretty prevalent in Dragon Age.
NON-NEGOTIABLE LINEAR STORY PROGRESSION.
Fuck you, NNLSR. You ruin games. You supply reality to my virtual world. You make me cease picturing myself as a badass dwarf with a sweet longsword, Dwarven chainmail and a big round shield. You make it seem like a game instead of a world. You are an asshole.
You may be asking, "What is Non-Negotiable Linea--- ahh, I lost interest. I actually have a life, unlike this nerd," and to you I say..."Yeah, well, I hate you."
Non-Negotiable Linear Story Progression is exactly what is sounds like, despite the name I just made up for it. It's when the game forces you to advance the plot without any other options. This infuriates me to the point of actually not wanting to play the game anymore. It's why I quit playing Dragon Age. It ruins good games and it kills more people than heart disease.
I love games like Dragon Age, Mass Effect, and Knights of the Old Republic. I love how BioWare lets you have choices of what to say, and those choices affect how your character is perceived and regarded in the game. What I absolutely do not like is when you have a conversation with Bann Teagan about Arl Eamond's grave condition. He then suggests that they need to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes in order to cure him. Instead of allowing his assload of knights to continue searching, he decides to recommend recalling them so that YOU can go with a party of four and search one little place at a time. Of course, you're provided a conversation to voice your opinion on the matter. It goes something like this, with dramatization:
Bann Teagan: So like we totally need to find these Ashes, dude.
You: (Choices)
-So where would I find these Ashes?
-Will the Ashes really help?
-What will you be doing in the meantime?
-I'll find them.
Picking either of the first three just delays you having to pick the fourth. Of course if you ask him what he's doing, he's 'assembling the Knights to begin battle with the Darkspawn.' Yeah right, douchebag. You're going to stand in that same spot until I trigger some event and you'll move somewhere else. The entire thing makes me furious! You can't exit the conversation, you can't change the subject, you can't do anything except agree to do it and take it up as a quest. It's like being a woman meeting an NFL player in a strip club: you can say whatever you want, but he's going to have his way with you and you're going to have to go along with it.
Of course, I don't want to search the entire realm for a fucking vase of some woman's ashes. I want to continue killing evil things and being a Grey Warden (pretty kickass name for an organization) because people respect Grey Wardens for the most part. I want to develop a persona and relationships with my party members (Except Sten because he's a turd) and do mini-quests and get awesome equipment and lots of money.
As a gamer, I find that I've expanded my horizons with games like Oblivion and online games. I need an open world with a very non-linear storyline. It's a necessity for me now. I mean, I had my fun with linear stories, and I'll always respect them - especially the old classics. It's just time to move on. Will I pick up Dragon Age again? Yeah. Probably soon. Will I get angry again? Probably. Is that irrelevant in the scheme of things? Definitely.
...and you know what they say: once you go non-linear, even the fat ones seem skinnier.
Final Fantasy 7 just raised the bar.... we can't help but compare all of our rpg experiences to that one game.
ReplyDelete